I'm home for the weekend, well just tonight and all day tomorrow really. Tomorrow is my so-called graduation party but it's also my brother's confirmation party, birthday party, and "graduation" from 8th grade party. It's just a family thing, except my best friend might be coming over for a little bit. I am extremely anxious... I want to go to bed and not wake up. I feel like absolute shit.

I've been doing a lot of 'trauma work' with my therapist at residential and in group therapy and journaling about it. It sucks, and it's been making me super anxious and paranoid and I've been crying all the time. The worst part is I've been gone from there for 7 hours and I've already fucked up big time, I didn't eat dinner except for some frozen yogurt. I'm scared to go back and tell my therapist and especially the nurse because she's a hard-ass and I'm afraid she'll be mad at me and kick me out. Why does this all have to be so fucking hard?